Wiped Out

I’m wiped out tonight.  There is a to-do list that would extend past my arm if I could actually remember all the things that should be on it.  But I cannot because like I said, I’m wiped out.

We are still trying to figure out the allergy/intolerance/auto-immune possibilities for the youngest.

We thought she had MSPI (milk soy protein intolerance).  We were told she would outgrow it.  We were told it would get easier.  For a while it did.

Then she still hurt, she still had issues even avoiding dairy and soy.

I am very careful about what she eats, how I prepare food.  So if it is made here I know whether or not there is a cross-contamination issue.  I am very careful about what I purchase pre-made for her for the same reasons.

At three years old we got referred to an allergist and a pediatric GI.  The allergist has done all the testing he can and everything comes back negative, so according to that nothing medically causes it.

The GI wants us to complete a celiac test.  As a pre-requisite to the test she has to eat 2 pieces of wheat containing bread each day for 12 weeks.  She won’t do it.  I’ve been trying since before Christmas.  We get a good couple of days in for whatever reason and then she just stops.  She will eat a bite or two of the sandwich and then nothing else containing wheat.

She won’t eat pasta, she can’t have macaroni and cheese, she doesn’t eat crackers.  She wouldn’t eat my homemade banana bread.

I’m so weary of trying to figure out how to make her not hurt.

Tonight the girls did Fit2B kids routines {affiliate} and Cosmic Yoga while I made dinner and I blared music in my ears trying to recenter.

The movement on this grey day calmed some the two having the most issues, the youngest and our other child (10) who has figured out that she cannot have dairy.

The music calmed me.

But the 10 year old is also noticing something isn’t right and is making it feel like when she had dairy.  I’m glad she can express how she feels but the idea of walking this road of trying to figure out what is making her feel this way while we still do not have clear answers on the younger child … it wipes me out, tonight.

Another day I will have more energy to fight.

I know we will eventually get answers.

Whether she has to be gluten free, dairy free and soy free and for how long.

Whether I also have to eat the same for a while until she adjusts to me eating different food from her.

Whether we need to test the 10 year old.

Just tonight… tonight I’m too tired for the to-do list.

I’m going to put the kids to bed and either go to bed directly or watch some bullet journal planning videos on YouTube so I can maybe actually get mine started for April.

Something fun, something for me.  Something that would be on my 4 for 40 days list (more on that later, but was hinted at in a Facebook post).

Night all