Our Merry Christmas in 2020 Style

Was your day of December 25, 2020, a Merry Christmas with 2020 style? Ours was. The rest of this was written on Christmas, but it took a few days to get the pictures in to give the full Merry Christmas in 2020 style feel. {wobbly smile} For your reading enjoyment… question mark?

There have definitely been some higher points and some lower points in our lives today. Tonight as I was trying to figure something to be productive or do, or just get out of this overall 2020 feeling I read this quote by Maya Angelou, and then felt led to come and write.

“Let gratitude be the pillow upon which you kneel to say your nightly prayer. And let faith be the bridge you build to overcome evil and welcome good.”

Maya Angelou Facebook post on 12/25/2020

Gratitude

Despite our day I’ve tried to find the things to be grateful for.

I wasn’t up for forever wrapping presents as hubby played video games, and relaxed, with the kids keeping them occupied, yesterday.

We had some funds to get gifts. There have been other years where it has been much more meager under the tree. Our families sent some, and as is the tradition in this house, there will be more to come when the mail arrives or we make it down to pick them up.

I think we hit a good balance of the electronic vs non-electronic engagement of gifts. Yes, there was time playing the new Nintendo Switch game that all four wanted. Miss C was quick to lay claim to first play, much to the dismay of her sisters. So I might have worried some, but not much when Miss M came down and announced she wanted book 2 of the series Kitty and the Moonlight Rescue. Yes, it appears she has already read it entirely. I will have to read to check but she gave us a really good synopsis based on what I had skimmed prior to buying it. As I was putting her to bed it appears read two is already underway.

Miss F, and Miss L were fully engaged with their Kiwi Co crate boxes that arrived. Miss F built the Trojan Horse and would have done the craft but I had to run out… and Miss L got to build a ukelele and had it built and ready to tune by the time we finally got home minus one car (more on that in second).

Even though Miss M was sad she didn’t get her most wished for gift, a retired dragon from the Ninjago lego series, the day was going really well. As they did crafts, Michael went to help a friend.

The Testing

When you have friends you help. Even, actually, especially in the midst of a pandemic you give help when needed. So given the medical need for a friend to be in a hospital almost two hours away and no way to get home, we said we’d help. Yes, even on Christmas. So off the Hubby went. Since it is where he works, it provided an excuse to stop and get a few things he realized he didn’t have. All was well until they were almost home.

Yep, car trouble.

We bought our used van, in July of 2019 with 94,000 miles on it. So we haven’t done a lot of driving, and actually, we haven’t even put 20,000 miles on it. Something broke so there was no power being given to the drivetrain. The engine still ran, it kept Hubby warm and power for his phone, for the 90-minute wait for AAA.

So I drove out with his car, a beat-up Prius that no-one would want to steal as it is so recognizable in it’s beat-up look, with its check engine light on, out to see what to do. So I ended up driving our friend to his house, then back to pick up Hubby with only 5 minutes left on the time for AAA.

Still Grateful

I’m still grateful that the weather wasn’t worse, the snow didn’t kick in until I was headed back to Hubby. I’m extremely grateful that we didn’t have all the kids in the car and then be broken down on the side of the road trying to figure out how to get us all home. With COVID it complicates these matters so much more. No one can ride with the tow-truck and how do you get six home?

I’m grateful we had another car to go get him and our friend home safely.

Still Tired/Spent

But oh, that part of the quote…

“Let gratitude be the pillow upon which you kneel to say your nightly prayer. And let faith be the bridge you build to overcome evil and welcome good.”

Maya Angelou Facebook post on 12/25/2020

Trying to maintain the façade that everything was fine before I left the house. The call to my mom as I drove, because I felt like I was going to break and knew I couldn’t give in to that anxiety of “what if…?”

• What if the van cannot be fixed?
• On top of the, what if the car (remember check engine light) that we were going to get looked at after Christmas can no longer be fixed?
• Where will the money come from… for either repair and/or both?

I’ve always been good at the “What if…?” game. Anxiety has been high for many of us in 2020.

I was close to having some problems before, but with everything 2020 started throwing in… I asked for help. I am taking medicine. I have a therapist to talk to. I am not ashamed of any of those things. My mental health is important especially as I’m raising four girls who need to know it is okay to ask for, and get help.

I have both my therapist and the physical therapist telling me I need to focus on anxiety-reducing measures {yes I roll my eyes as I type that}, breathing, using apps to help if needed, get more sleep, exercise {yep another eye roll}, and overall find ways to make it easier to stop the fight/flight reflex that my body has apparently decided it lives in right now.

I know that the clock changing to 1/1/2021 is not going to be a magical everything is better potion. While I usually live with optimism, I am a realist. There is a lot to still have anxious thoughts about.

Our country is hurting. Families are hurting. People are going hungry. It’s getting cold and in some areas of my state they have gone from three feet of snow with a storm last week to over two inches of rain, and all of that run-off of melting snow, as the temperatures were above 50 degrees (F) the last two days.

What now?

So what now? As I reread I wonder if I’m even going to post this. If I do, how do I wrap this up?

I guess I’m thinking if despite any hopes you had of the day being a magical holiday with no issues and it feels like it has been just one thing after another and you feel like you are going to break… you are not alone. “Let faith be that bridge to help you overcome…”

Even if you do not believe in a higher power, faith in yourself, faith in your neighbors, humanity (which I will grant has seemed pretty messed up sometimes this year), “let faith be that bridge to help you overcome” and know that even though it is dark today/tonight, the world will have sun again tomorrow. The days will feel a little lighter soon, just … hold… on.

Some Suggestions

Based on the tools I’m learning to use myself, emphasis on learning, these are what I’m leaning on.

Gratitude Log

Writing this helped me focus on some things to be grateful for, even through my trying day. I’ve been debating putting a gratitude spot in my bullet journal to keep focusing on this aspect each day. I will likely transfer some of this there.

Calm app

I have the Calm app on my iPhone. My, poor just dropped on the floor, ancient iPhone 6s, but it still runs phone. I made it through 5 minutes of a 10-minute meditation/focusing on breathing exercise before I got antsy and had to just move. I have started keeping my headphones close, to try to grab some time here, and there, as I can, and my goal is to work up to a solid 10 minute time.

Relax on my Fitbit

I have a Fitbit Charge HR2. I use it to track my sleep more than my steps. I’ll post more on that later. Ironically, just before I had to head out to start the process with the van on the side of the road, I had escaped upstairs and took two minutes with the dots on my Fitbit screen trying to make them sparkle. It did, but only twice… I have done better. I will try to do this again, if nothing else, before bed. I have to be careful with this toll though as days when my pain is flaring, the vibrational buzz on my wrist is sometimes just too much to handle.

Fit2B

In the same way as the Calm app and the Relax app, there are workouts that have been a huge help, that is when I take the time to actually do them. Once again, I need to be better at doing this. I’m contemplating if wireless headphones might help at some point in the future, but first, we need to see what the vehicles need. {affiliate links ahead} My favorites though are the Neck Routine, Bedtime Meditation, PMS Routine, and Azure Awakening in the Blue Series. In my last post, I highlighted that there is an Open House giving you access to Fit2B Premium level (so all of these workouts and more) until December 31, 2020, if you want to try any of them out.

Animal Crossing

Thank the heavens above for this game arriving when it did, and I know I’m not the only one to say this through this pandemic. Sometimes I need to just focus on something else, yes distraction, as a way of coping. So taking some time to play, be in a world where there is an island, now snow, fresh flowers and fruit (yes that seems odd to me too), and the ocean waves. Ocean waves that I can hear if I have the volume loud enough, and just pretend for a while that I’m sitting somewhere else… sometimes that is what I need for some me time.

{editing me: I’ll add some pictures later of our island and my character. Right now the oldest is playing her birthday gift because yes it is now 5 days later and I’m good like that.}

If you’ve made it this far, congratulations. It means a lot. It also means I actually hit publish tomorrow. As for tonight, I see where I want to put in a multitude of photos and I just don’t want to stay up that late tonight.

Tea is brewed, I have a small snack since we had linner (lunch+dinner) after getting him home and it’s time for bed.

Blessings,