Halfway Through December

It’s a quiet Saturday for the first time in months for most of us.  The Saturday’s of the school year so far has been filled with Lego League for all the kids, but this is the first week that only the older two had it, so the younger two and I stayed home.  My headache this morning helped convince me when hubby suggested it.  The semester is over, except for the grading, but that will be done soon too as well.

I’m finding myself reflecting a bit, as is common at this time of year.  The days are getting shorter, the nights longer.   Anniversaries are ever present in my mind and some days they bring smiles, some days tears.

Searching for Christmas

I find myself wishing for the simplicity of laying under the Christmas Tree lights coloring like I did when I was a kid.  I can say we have managed to get the tree up, as of yesterday, but no lights or decorations yet.  The kids are excited and I find myself mentally singing the song “Where Are You Christmas?” as I struggle to find the excitement the holiday could bring.  (In case you are not familiar with the song here is a rendition by Pentatonix that about sums it up this year.)

The kids and I went and got the tree so our place didn’t run out before hubby got home and although it didn’t feel as odd as last year, it still struck me a bit more as I knew a friend of mine is celebrating this holiday with her kids as a widow.  I hurt for her.  I hurt for my friend with a cancer diagnosis, even knowing she is a fighter, hoping for the best and that she will have many Christmases after this one.

Perhaps it is because of adulting and squeezing money for bills, food and presents out of the same paycheck that usually only did bills and food.  Perhaps it is because I’m just a bit tired and weary.  Maybe I need to just let go of the cares for a bit and try to enjoy.

I found myself searching the Microsoft store wishing for an old theme that was available before for the computer called holiday lights, where they just celebrated the lights of the holidays.  Sadly there isn’t one.  Instead I’ll just have to make sure we get our lights up.  Maybe this year after we take down the tree I’ll find a way to keep up a strand or two after the holiday when it once again seems so dark.

Searching for a Word

In my online world there are posts of people choosing their word for 2019.

Last year I thought my word for 2018 was going to be renew.  But the year has not felt much like I’ve been renewed.  I have been relieved as I have made it through the year without reherniating.  But I still do not feel that strong.

My word in 2016 and 2017 seemed to be resilient. Going through the surgeries, recoveries.  It has been a rough four years.

I’m not sure yet where my search for a word is going to lead me.  I’m not stressing about it, there are way more important things, but its sitting back there in my mind as I go about life.

Update on 4 Things for 40 Days

You may have read my previous post.  Yeah, I haven’t done very well.

The epsom salt still sit at the store.  I haven’t written a ton here despite the partly written posts in my head.  I’m sad to say I haven’t even read a lot.  Well for me.  I’ve read a bunch of books to the kids, and started a post with some that struck me so I wanted to share them, but that is also at the moment in the drafts folder.

Only this week did I manage to get my Fit2B {affiliate} account hooked up to the Roku we were blessed to get from my in-laws.  We set it up finally 2 weeks ago.  But it took another week for me to get it connected.  Not because it was hard, it was actually ridiculously easy.  It was just doing it.

I did do a routine, one of the foundational five without kids in the house clamoring for my attention so I was really able to focus on it and on me.  It wiped me out, well parts of me. I usually am trying to do a routine with my headphones in and my little phone screen.  I have to get better and more consistent.

We did get the elliptical set up to use.  We have to move a few things to set it up each time, but I’m hoping before he returns to work next month I’ll feel more confident getting on it.  Especially as the weather is colder outside, and snow/ice covered sidewalks walking outside is not an easy feat for me right now.  Last night as my friends and hubby spoke of playing racketball last night, I know I have so far to go to get to that point.  I just had to breathe, and remember I’ve been through a lot and it is going to take time to get fully strong again.  So enabling them to play seems like a natural thing.

Getting the Fit2B on the big screen will help me… I hope.

Our Homeschool

Thankfully with homeschooling there is an expectation set by the curriculum, but I’m fully comfortable working outside of those expectations.

With one level we are on week 15, as a we had a small library book delay.  With another we are in about four different weeks depending on the subject also because of book availability.  Ideally we would have purchased more of the spines, but we are making due.

But overall we remain on track, because no matter what we are working at our pace, and our defined plan as we merge curriculums together.  I have two poised to finish their level of Teaching Textbooks within the month.  One of which I have to yet find the next level, eeks.

I think as the holiday approaches I’ll try to take some time and get us reset to begin anew after the year begins.  At least so I have a renewed plan and be ready to go for the spring semester.

The spring semester is always a little rougher as a family.  There is only one week of break for my husband, and usually it is the semester he is piloting a new course.  This year will not be any different.

My Planning

I’ve been hit or miss using my planner and bullet journal.  I do not even have a planner set for 2019.  I can’t decide if I’m just going to use an old one and make stickers for the dates or if I will in fact purchase one.  I have my bullet journal to use in the midst of deciding.

Trying to get figured out the best way to use it, location to have it so I remember to use it, it is all a process. I know I need to get better at it, I’m not always remembering things that need to be done, remember that tiredness?, so I know I need to figure this out.

Blogging

More posts are in the works.  With the quiet today I’m hoping to hammer out the drafts on at least a few.  🙂

I hope you are feeling the warmth of the holiday as the days progress.  Whether you celebrate the child in a manger, the getting together of family, or the lights and high spirits I hope as the darkness appears to get longer we all can remember the days of longer light is coming.

Blessings, Rebecca